A lot of us underestimate the importance of Life-affirming, self-loving habits. We compare ourselves to others constantly, put ourselves down, and tell ourselves we are not interesting enough. So many people are victims of self- hate, hence the amount of hatred and pain in the world, what stories are you telling yourself about your life? Are you comparing it to the lives of others? Are you not enough of one thing, or too much of another thing? What would happen if you let the fact that you are here, breathing, be enough? No matter what is happening on the doing end of things, when you accept being as enough, you find many interesting things: freedom, ease, peace, and appreciation. We are in a world and culture where one’s life is defined by what they do, so what happens to your sense of self when you have very little going on for you, you start the comparison, self-hate, depressing thoughts, but what if the fact that your life isn’t interesting or so much fun at the moment is what makes you unique and different from others, what if that is what makes you interesting. I always tell people “learn to be grateful for the little you have, the body you have, the family you have etc. because some people are dying to be in your shoes”. Learn to love yourself and appreciate the present.
Self-love habits I want you to adopt today.
Forgiveness: First of all you have to forgive yourself for all the self-hate; you need to learn to let things go. Once you experience complete compassion for yourself it will be easy to let things go, whatever mistake you have made in life, use it as a formidable lesson for the future. Truth is when we look deeply enough inside we see that keeping ourselves “unforgiven” is actually motivated by love. We hold ourselves as unforgivable in hopes that we never do that thing again because we don’t want to hurt anyone else or ourselves. This is usually unconscious, and it’s extremely self-destructive if not worked through. I invite you to look back on any experience in your past where you are carrying guilt or shame. Look at what your true intention was when you did what you did. You may have had a limited awareness of options and perhaps made choices that brought yourself and others undesirable results, but you did the best you could at the time. Now you need to stop blaming yourself, learn your lesson, forgive yourself and move on. I have picked up some lessons from my past and I am going to use it positively to shape my future, you should do same.
Accept your body type: Personally I have always been a chubby kid since secondary school. Not until I got to university that I started learning to accept my body type, I know i will never have kim kardashian’s curve, I can never be tall as Naomi Campbell or skinny as Kate Moss, so why starve myself or cut myself, all I can do now is maintain a very good weight and be fit,(the fact that I have boobs and thighs isn’t an excuse to be overweight and unhealthy) everyone knows I have switched to a healthy lifestyle, don’t get it twisted it isn’t to become skinny but to be healthy and fit. I don’t think in years now I have spent a single time hating my body type. If you’re unhappy with your body type, you might not want to look at your body. You might obsessively under-eat, and then binge eat, and then feel worse about yourself. You might avoid exercise because you don’t want to even think about the problem. You might eat junk food to comfort your bad feelings, and then make the health problems worse. This can affect school, your job, your relationships, your family life. I’ve seen girls torture themselves for years about something as simple and stupid as a stretch mark or some cellulite, which happen naturally. I’ve seen some people torture ME because they’re unhappy with themselves. What a waste of time! Not giving a crap if other people are happy with my body type (I am 5feet 4 inches; deal with it) has left me so much time to work on other super important things and gotten me way closer to my goals than wasting even a moment otherwise! Everyone is beautiful and sexy in their own unique way, learn to accept the body type God has given you and build up on all you other numerous talents. People who will stick around in your life no matter how you look would be the ones who are meant to be there. Letting go and being happy with who you are is so important to finding the life you want.
Being Honest: It is impossible to achieve what you truly want if you are denying or deceiving yourself. It took this realization for me to truly change my habits. The minute you feel the relief of honesty with yourself, your life truly changes. This was the first time I really felt that I had “found the feeling” of Oneness with myself. For some people this never pops up as a problem, but many of us tell ourselves lies when we’re unhappy in our lives in order to make things easier to swallow. We do it to stay in relationships, to stay in a job, to please others or feel good about ourselves. Whatever the case is, honesty is vital to making effective changes and identifying who you really are and what you really want. When you lie about who you are or what you really believe, you reinforce the idea that you need to pretend to be someone else or that you are not fundamentally “good enough”. Worse than that, you undermine virtually every other key principle for self improvement, because they are based on the premise that you have identified as your authentic self and your goals. Without the truth of who you are and what you really want, you cannot have clarity in life and you cannot achieve your dreams because you have no true direction. You need to practice honesty at every level of your life, not just with yourself. When you are dishonest, you are effectively saying that you are not worthy enough, that you do not deserve good things and that the only way to get things is to lie or cheat. This appears in the form of lying, cheating, boasting, stealing, exaggeration… at the most fundamental level these things are not honest and are a negative affirmation to the self.
Love and be kind to others: Even the bible says love your neighbor same way you love yourself, which means when you love another genuinely you are in love with yourself also. Learn to treat people with kindness and on the long run kindness will come back to you, being kind and loving is now part of my everyday life. You do not have to be a millionaire before you can help or love someone; it can just be a conversation, or a visit. Learn to love others and you will love yourself more.
Pamper yourself: Taking a long, hot, luxurious bath every day and treating myself to some meditation and alone time has been key in developing and consistently keeping deep rooted self-loving habits. A hot bath is one of life’s most simple pleasures, and we should not take it for granted, take time daily to spend some good quality time with yourself.
“The day that you allow your self-worth, or self-love to be based on others is the beginning of the end, you can’t tell me WHO i am when I already know” –Tyrese Gibson
“Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.” ~Unknown
Fall in love with you everyday