So i got an email from a friend who witnessed an abuse first hand and she requested i post this. I have seen so many women go through domestic abuse/violence in silence,suffer in silence. I read this story and i was so shaking and super angry. My message to anyone in an abusive relationship is this: Get Help! Get Help! Share your story with people you trust,who can counsel you, if you are not married,but you know your partner is violent, do not marry such person, marriage can not change him. Most importantly LOVE YOURSELF because YOU ARE WORTHY.
Please Read Damilola Adebayo’s story
SAY NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
I am not a writer or anything but I witnessed something today that I can’t shut up about which I know most Nigerians close their eyes to. I witnessed first hand domestic violence.
This is a topic that people have debated over the years and almost everyone agrees that it’s a horrible thing. I have never witnessed it before so imagine my shock today. I was just sitting in my room and I heard children crying and screaming, I looked out the window and I saw a man beating 3 kids on the balcony of their house. I was even laughing and saying to myself that I remember when my mum used to beat me blue and black whenever I did something wrong when I was younger. But I looked closely at the scene and realised that wasn’t really the case here, it didn’t seem like the children had done nothing wrong and there were people standing in front of their gate. So I went to the upper floor of my house to get a better look. This man was beating these kids (that were his step-children btw) because he accused one of them of talking back to him. Let me explain the scenario, he locked himself and kids in, and locked their mom and everyone else out of the building and he took the children to the balcony and started to beat them, he beat them with a belt so much that I think the youngest (a girl) almost passed out. They were two boys probably aged 14 and 17 and the girl probably younger than them. And then he started screaming that he will kill the children, and note that they were on the balcony and there was a considerable drop from there down. He hung one the children and threatened that he will drop him, I felt like I was watching for coloured girls in real life. While all this was going he was shouting and insulting the wife and her sister (that I assumed she called when the fight started) that he’s the one feeding her and her children so they don’t have a right to talk back to him. According to him ‘I went to pick her from her parents house and took care of her and she thinks she has the right to threaten and call people to insult me in my house’ he faced the children and said ‘you are not my children so I have a right to kill you, I don’t care, I don’t care’ he just kept shouting and beating them. People had gathered at the gate at this point and everyone was pleading with him to release the children, the police was called in at some point and he didn’t budge! Eventually I think they kids got tired and they attacked him, you should have seen me and everyone there shouting and urging them on! They were able to wrestle him down and run out of the house. The coward couldn’t come down and face everyone’s wrath cos I would have joined in beating him!
My motto in life has always been live and let live but not this time, I can’t keep quiet. Women if you know your man has violent streak or even an iota of violence in him please I beg you don’t marry him. For men that beat women and children because he thinks he has the power, there’s a special place in hell for you and let me tell you, you push a person to the wall and they would fight back just like those kids did.
I am writing this for women that are in abusive relationships and especially when kids are involved, please please leave him. You can survive on your own, your friends and family love and car efor you, don’t die in that relationship because you think you can’t do better. You can, think about yourself and your children! God help us all.
Side Note: I will post series on domestic violence soon, and if you have a story to share on domestic violence or you are a victim and you need advice or someone to talk to.
Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org or call+ 2348173465147
Remember you are worthy,you are beautiful.